The Cross at the Top of the Mountain

I was struck by the quote in Langston Hughes' "The Negro Artist and the Racial Mountain" that reads, "One of the most promising of the young Negro poets said to me once, "I want to be a poet--not a Negro poet," meaning, I believe, "I want to write like a white poet"; meaning subconsciously, "I would like to be a white poet"; meaning behind that, "I would like to be white." And I was sorry the young man said that, for no great poet has ever been afraid of being himself,"  for I felt that this portion adequately summarized some of the greatest difficulties for African Americans in the quest for equality not only in the law, but in the area perhaps more difficult to achieve, the mind.  Hughes' time on earth ended roughly in the time period of the Civil Rights Movement, and thus many of his poems were written well before law came to recognize a standard of equality.  However, he manages to find the difficulties lying below the surface issues of racism- that of self-esteem, identity, and self-worth.   This is also reflected in his poem, "Cross,"  by which I was particularly moved.  The poem reads, My old man's a white old man/And my old mother's black./If I ever cursed my white old man/I take my curses back./If ever I cursed my black old mother/And wished she were in hell,/I'm sorry for that evil wish/And now I wish her well/My old man died in a fine big house./My ma died in a shack./I wonder where I'm going to die,/Being neither white nor black?"  I feel that this question is one that is still relevant today- how does one tie race and ethnicity into one's life?  What is it's place in the makeup of an individual?   I think even after reading about how race and ethnicity are society-developped concepts, it doesn't change the fact that they are a part of our social identities, as for now, we live in a world that recognizes race as a distinguishing factor.   It is even included on standardized tests as a matter of identification.  Caucasian?  African-American? Asian?  But there is no option of choosing more than one option.  There is no "Caucasian/African-American" option, nor is there an opportunity for Caucasians to identify with their own pre-immigration history, as connected to Eastern Europeans, or the Norse.  For this reason, and others of greater importance that I won't elaborate on now, the question posed by Langston Hughes of, "Where will I die?"  is still highly appropriate. The law may say that America is a place of equality, but it doesn't identify how one finds oneself.  Must one hang on to his or her roots?  If one is of mixed race or ethnicity, is is necessary to choose one as more important than the other?  And what of ignoring race altogether?  Does that do some injustice to the history of our ancestors, the struggles they went through, and the beauty and culture that they brought with them?  Hughes brings these important questions within his work, urging us that the choice be that of the individual, as he says, "to choose  what he does, certainly, but he must also never be afraid to do what he must choose."